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Poetry by BlueRose28


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Submitted on
September 14, 2009
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Your heart glistens
like a new fish,
caught against the rocks.
You once let me hold it
in my hands
and I trembled at its weight
and the way it beat
so fiercely under my fingers -
too many birds
holding up the sky.

You offered to make me
one of my own -
monstrous and simple,
out of silk and pins
to tuck under my coat
at funerals.

But the truth is,
I only like yours
because it reminds me
of October
and the clouds in your smile
every time it rains.
...
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:icongossamerwings36:
Gossamerwings36 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Very nice, thanks for sharing.
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:iconafter-eden:
After-Eden Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Nice, nice
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:iconponddreamer:
PondDreamer Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful, all the elements combine wonderfully. :love:
Reply
:iconopheliawhispers:
OpheliaWhispers Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2011  Hobbyist
My fav lines in this emotive work is:

"too many birds
holding up the sky."

I absolutely LOVE that particular part. I really like the way the poem gently cradles the reader in it's hands, then allows the reader to get dropped back in their seat lightly with the last verse. Great work... this one really takes you on a journey :D
Reply
:iconjimfleming:
jimfleming Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2011
Would it be too simple a praise to say your work makes me happy? :)
Reply
:icontakenight:
takenight Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Student Writer
Gorgeously worded, I adore the imagery. Well done!
Reply
:iconchryssalis:
chryssalis Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011
:clap:
Reply
:iconbewilderedconfused:
bewilderedconfused Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
The master " word weaver" strikes again! :clap: :clap: :clap:
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:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Professional Writer
That is very nice of you. many thanks.
Reply
:iconisabellamichel:
IsabellaMichel Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011  Student Writer
You should read "The House of Leaves" by Mark Z. Danielewski.
The poetic genius of it is utterly breathtaking.

Lovely piece as always. :heart:
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Professional Writer
Thanks for the suggestion!
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:iconchibivampire2122:
chibivampire2122 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011
wonderful :)
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Professional Writer
Many thanks - I appreciate it.
Reply
:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:) Imagry is such a rewarding way to write.
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Professional Writer
Thanks! I confess to the fact that I do enjoy playing with it.
Reply
:icondaft-enigma:
Daft-Enigma Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
The last stanza was beautiful.
I had no idea I wasn't breathing until I finished this, it was wonderful and something about it was absolutely entrancing. You just want to read it again and again.
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Professional Writer
Thanks very much! That is very nice to hear!
Reply
:icondaft-enigma:
Daft-Enigma Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome
Reply
:iconhalcyonshores:
halcyonshores Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Always breath-taking, Brendan.
Blissfully I sighed.
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Professional Writer
I am glad you like it. Thanks!
Reply
:iconforwinds:
forWinds Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
an interesting simile, but it grew on me. :) and oh, that last stanza! :heart:
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:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2011  Professional Writer
*Smiles* Yeah...a bit odd. Thanks.
Reply
:iconvanadiumtaintedberyl:
VanadiumTaintedBeryl Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Lovely.
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:iconmj-magic:
mj-magic Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
gorgeous words! :heart:
Reply
:iconcharmantesourcie:
CharmanteSourcie Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011
Exquisite imagery.
All of it. I was just about to pick out a stanza then thought, no. It's all just... perfectly suited together.
Reply
:iconscarletwave:
scarletwave Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011
Tremendous, as ever Brandon.
Reply
:iconkraven42:
KRaven42 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
The fact that this is updated makes me wonder what the original was like because I didn't have this account until 2010. But it's lovely... I like the way you described literally holding someone's heart in your hands. And I particularly like the last stanza.. "the clouds in your smile/every time it rains" is lovely.
Reply
:iconmeplost:
meplost Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2011
All I can say is I love your poems. :)
Reply
:iconsilverwynd:
SilverWynd Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow beautiful!
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2010  Professional Writer
Thanks! This one was fun...
Reply
:iconsythh:
sythh Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2010
I love this. It strikes a chord somewhere deep within me and, even if I can't explain it, I greatly enjoy both the feeling (one that leans toward nostalgia and memories I can't place) and the words themselves.
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2010  Professional Writer
Thanks very much - I appreciate it.
Reply
:iconkizukudawn:
KizukuDawn Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
This makes me think of a situation I've had before, I think that's what I like most about a lot of your works. btw, do you take creative writing class, or are you freelance? :) if you don't mind me askin.
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2010  Professional Writer
I took one class in college, a number of few years ago. I did not really start writing until about 3 years ago or so.
Reply
:iconhisheep:
hiSheep Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2010
sweet!!!!
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2010  Professional Writer
:iconthankyou1plz::iconthankyou2plz::iconthankyou3plz::iconthankyou4plz::iconthankyou5plz:
Reply
:iconhisheep:
hiSheep Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2010
your welcome!
Reply
:iconmspadfoot2:
mspadfoot2 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2010  Student Writer
This is very beautiful. It is clearly directed towards someone, and it has the feel of being very intimate. I love it. I really love the beginning simile. "Your heart glistens like a fish..." It is simply wonderful.
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2010  Professional Writer
Thanks. I was not sure about that fish image at first...
Reply
:iconflyhigh20:
FlyHigh20 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2010
I have never held a heart, but it sounds like a beautiful thing
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:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2010  Professional Writer
Many thanks. i appreciate it!
Reply
:iconflyhigh20:
FlyHigh20 Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2010
you're welcome
Reply
:iconmychem-totheend:
mychem-totheend Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2010
beautiful!
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2010  Professional Writer
Thanks very much. I am glad you like it.
Reply
:iconriegella:
Riegella Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Lovely, as usual. :love: :+fav:
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:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010  Professional Writer
Thanks very much - I appreciate that.
Reply
:iconkatieroo:
KatieRoo Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I like it but I think I'd prefer the heart to be a bird to begin with not a fish...Although it makes perfect sense why you put it like that...But you know me, all for pretty imagery..!
Reply
:iconscarlettletters:
Scarlettletters Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2010  Professional Writer
Bird is certainly a prettier image, but fish was the muse's choice...gotta obey the muse!
Reply
:iconkatieroo:
KatieRoo Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Hehe, true! And it works, so no more questioning!
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:iconemocinderella:
Emocinderella Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
So tender, and seems gently spoken.
Lovely.
I could see the fish-heart too, what an excellent comparison.
Reply
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